If you personally can’t think of anything sexier than the idea of being tied up, spanked, dominated, or any number of other activities associated with BDSM, you’re far from alone. According to research, around 42 percent of Americans have engaged in some form of BDSM at least once in their lives.
What’s more, 44 percent of those who haven’t yet tried it admit to wanting to, and it’s not hard to see why. It’s titillating, sexy, and the type of sexual experience that promises partakers something genuinely unique. But thinking about trying something new and actually doing it are two different matters.
So, if you’ve been looking for the perfect reason to take the plunge yourself (or talk to a partner about trying it), you should know the ideal occasion is coming up – International BDSM Day on July 24th. Here’s a closer look at what you should know, as well as a few suggestions on how to celebrate.
What Is International BDSM Day?
The first-ever International BDSM Day took place in 2003 in Barcelona, Spain, and was launched by Kurt Walter Fisher, owner of Europe’s first dedicated BDSM club. Ever since, BDSM lovers around the world have embraced the unofficial holiday as a way to not only raise awareness of the larger community but help address some of the common BDSM stereotypes that persist.
And you don’t need to be an active, lifelong practitioner to participate, either. You can be a beginner or even someone who’s just plain curious about the lifestyle. BDSM is for everyone, and so is International BDSM Day. Here are some great ways to celebrate if you’re new to the scene.
Learn the Basics
The best way to start any new journey into the world of BDSM is to embark on a crash course about what it is and isn’t actually all about. Some key points to start with include the following:
- BDSM activities are frequently organized into three subcategories – sadism/masochism, submission/dominance, and bondage/discipline.
- Practitioners may be into one (or all) of the above subcategories.
- Consent is huge in BDSM and is mandatory in every instance.
- New activities are always discussed thoroughly beforehand as part of what it means to seek and give consent.
Consider Your Stance
As you can see, it isn’t a one-size-fits-all kind of pursuit. It’s multi-faceted, and there are many different ways to approach it. So, start there – by sitting down with yourself and figuring out where you stand.
Which aspects of BDSM interest you the most, and why? Is it something you want to share with a partner as part of a committed relationship, or are you primarily interested in experimenting alone? What do you hope embracing BDSM will do for you sexually?
Join an Online Community
One of the best ways to start learning about BDSM and seeing how other people approach it is to dip your toe into the waters socially. Online communities are a terrific way to do this, as you can sit back and observe or participate as you see fit.
Fetish.com and FetLife are great places to meet and socialize with other people who are into fetish play and BDSM, including potential play partners. But most major social media platforms have groups and communities worth exploring, as well, so don’t be afraid to look around as a way to celebrate International BDSM Day.
Talk to Your Partner
There’s no time like International BDSM Day to take that next step toward making your interest a more significant part of your life. And if you’re entirely new to any sort of activity, it’s a good idea to get started on your own. Explore porn or erotica with themes that appeal to you, or invest in some toys that can help you experiment with different sensations.
But if you’re in a relationship, consider starting your journey alongside your partner. Initiate a frank talk about BDSM, why you’re interested in it, and what you feel it could do for your connection as a couple. Then take the next step together.
Invest in Some BDSM Gear
There are many ways to start discovering which sensations and dynamics you like best without any extra tools along for the ride. (For example, open palms work well enough for exploring whether you like spanking.) But the right bondage gear and accessories can really elevate things.
Depending on your interests, some options to shop for in preparation for International BDSM Day might include:
- Paddles
- Whips or floggers
- Feather ticklers
- Handcuffs or restraints
- Blindfolds or gags
- Vibrators, dildos, or probes
- Wearables like boots, corsets, or collars
If you’ll be experimenting with a committed partner or spouse, consider shopping together and using the experience as a way to keep the conversation going. Keep the lines of communication open during and after your play, as well. Remember, consent is a required part of satisfying, safe BDSM play, as is communication.
