If you’re thinking about attending a swingers party for the first time, it only makes sense that you’d be equal parts excited and nervous. It could be a real game-changer for your sex life if all goes well. But you naturally want to make sure you’re fully prepared for the experience.
Here’s a closer look at a few tips every beginner should keep in mind when attending their first swingers party. A little preparedness goes a really long way.
1. Know the rules before deciding to attend.
Sex parties are extremely popular these days, but no two will ever be exactly alike. However, all sex parties should come attached to clear rules that will not only tell you what to expect but how you should behave once you get there.
Some parties will be just for couples, while others might be planned around a specific theme (like group sex, bondage, or partner swapping). There will likely also be clear instructions dictating how you should dress, what the code of conduct is once you get there, etc.
If the rules don’t seem clear to you for whatever reason, try to get in touch with the organizers for more information. If things still don’t seem clear at the point (or the organizers give you an off vibe), you might want to reconsider attending that particular event.
2. Know your boundaries and limits.
Although it’s great to head to a swingers party with an open mind and a willingness to try just about anything, you still want to think about what you’re hoping to get out of the experience beforehand. In particular, you’ll want to think about your limits and boundaries.
How do you feel about playing with couples versus other singles? What are your thoughts on hooking up with someone of a different gender identity, age, or body type than you’re used to? Are there any acts or play types you’re not open to exploring at all? Know the answers to questions like these before you attend.
3. Bring a friend along with you.
Attending just about any party feels less nerve-wracking with a good friend along for the ride, and sex parties of any kind are certainly no exception. So, if you have a sex-positive friend who might be open to coming with you, definitely invite them to attend.
And if you don’t know anyone, you’d feel comfortable inviting to a swingers event, try getting in touch with the party organizers again. They might be able to put you in touch with someone open to orienting a newcomer. You can chat a bit beforehand, as well as attend together.
4. Go easy on the alcohol.
Although there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a cocktail at a swingers party to relax a bit and get into the spirit of things, you really want to avoid getting drunk or high. Too many drinks or party favors, and you won’t be equipped to make good judgment calls on the fly.
You also want to avoid any possible performance issues that could crop up if you overindulge. And naturally, you’ll want to remember every detail of your first time at a swingers party the morning after.
5. Make safety a priority.
Safety and consent are huge deals when it comes to sex parties, so there will likely be condoms, dental dams, and other supplies on hand once you get there. However, you should always come prepared with your own safety precautions regardless to avoid being caught without protection at the worst possible time.
And be sure to use safety religiously while you’re partaking in the festivities, as well. Pass on playing with anyone who doesn’t take safety as seriously as you do. Ultimately, no good time is worth risking your health.
6. Make consent and respect top priorities, too.
Consent is absolutely crucial at sex parties of any type, so go prepared to ask for it before expressly engaging in anything you see going on. And be specific, so there’s no room for error. “May I touch you” and “is it okay if I join you” are terrific examples. If you need to, you can practice asking questions out loud before you go, so they feel like second nature in the moment.
And always respect other people’s boundaries, including your own. Don’t take it personally if someone says no to a request you make. Don’t hesitate to say no to anything that makes you uncomfortable, either. Ultimately, swingers parties are all about having a good time. Making sure everyone involved is comfortable is part of that.
At the end of the day, it’s understandable to be nervous about attending a swinger’s party for the first time. But it’s nothing asking the right questions and being prepared can’t fix.
