When it comes to the human experience, it’s completely normal to wonder how other people do things, especially when it comes to a topic as titillating, universal, and important as sex. However, knowing you have an entire collection of burning sex questions you’re dying to have answers to is one thing. Finding the guts to ask those questions of someone that might actually have the answers is another.
That said, we’re coming to your rescue with some of the most common sex questions people have, but are often afraid to actually ask. We’ll cover everything from sex toys, to common habits, to anal and more.
1. “Should I be worried about my partner’s interest in porn?”
Here in the 21st century, an interest in porn isn’t necessarily considered a dirty little secret to the extent it might have been in years past. In fact many sex positive people are totally open about their interest in it, sometimes to the point of being willing to discuss what they like in detail with anyone and everyone. However, it’s still understandable to wonder whether or not a partner’s interest in pornography means there’s something wrong with your relationship. Should you worry… and if so, when?
Under most circumstances, an interest in pornography isn’t just normal. It’s healthy, not to mention a great way to get some fun ideas for things to try in the bedroom. Many couples even find they like to watch it together. Unless your partner is consistently choosing porn over real sex or happens to be into material that’s either illegal or excessively violent, it’s nothing to be concerned about.
2. “Is anal sex actually safe?”
If you’ve yet to explore the wide, wonderful world of backdoor pleasures for yourself, it only makes sense that you’d have a lot of questions about the anal sex your partner’s been begging you to try. Is it possible for it to actually feel good (or at least not hurt)? Even more importantly, is it safe to be doing at all?
Actually, yes. Anal is not only totally safe, but it can be super pleasurable if it’s done correctly. Your anal area is incredibly sensitive and rich in nerve endings. However, it’s a good idea to take things slowly until you get used to anal play. Start small with a finger or a small sex toy that’s safe for anal use. Always use plenty of lube. Take things slow and stop if you do actually feel any pain. Plus, always use a condom and never insert anything that’s been in your back door into the vagina afterward without cleaning it first.
3. “Is there any way I can tighten things up down there?”
If you’re the proud owner of a vagina and wonder from time to time whether or not things are tight enough down there, you’re not alone. Many women feel as if their vagina is too loose for their liking (or their partner’s), especially if they’ve ever given birth vaginally or are simply getting older. Thankfully there are things you can do to make sure yours is as tight as it can possibly be.
Pelvic floor exercises like Kegels can honestly work wonders. To do them, you simply tighten your vaginal muscles the same way you would if you were trying to hold back a stream of urine when you have to pee. Get in the habit of doing a few sets daily. (There are even Kegel apps you can try if you’re so inclined!) Sex toys like Ben Wa balls can be an effective and enjoyable way to take vaginal tone to the next level as well, as any Fifty Shades of Grey fan may already be aware.
4. “Do I need to worry about her vibrator replacing me?”
When it comes to questions a man might have about his female partner’s vibrator or other sex toys, this one tops the list by a landslide. His first thought is naturally that he must be doing such a bad job pleasing his mate in the bedroom that she’s had to turn to machinery in order to make up the difference. His second is that he’s now on the bench and no longer needed. In both instances, he’d be dead wrong.
As fantastic as some of the vibrators out there on the market can be, even the best of the best could never replace the real thing. In fact, it should be taken as a good sign that your lady’s in a great place sexually. A woman that’s unafraid to openly use a vibrator is a woman that’s comfortable with who she is as a sexual being. Plus, it’s likely that she’d love to include you when it comes to her next play session. Dildos can bring a lot to the table that a man can appreciate first hand as well. Why not give it a try and see? Better yet, ask your partner to show you.
5. “How can I get my partner to start using a vibrator?”
On the other side of the spectrum are guys that are not only perfectly fine with the idea of someone they’re with using a vibrator, but would love for their partners to actually get on board. Many men find the idea of her getting off that way to be arousing in and of itself. Others just want to encourage their partners to learn more about their own bodies. Whatever the case may be, they know they like the idea. They just don’t know how to bring it up.
To begin with, there’s a good possibility that she already uses a vibrator (or has in the past). She may also be a lot more open to experimentation than you might otherwise think. The best way to find out is to casually introduce the topic into everyday conversation and see how she reacts. There’s always the possibility that she won’t be on board with the idea at all, but she could be totally excited about it instead. She may also be interested, but a bit bashful about discussing the possibilities. Just talk it out together and communicate.
Vibrator use is by no means needs to be a solo effort either. Some of the most popular vibrating toys on the market were actually designed with couples in mind. Many can even be worn during intercourse to enhance the experience for both partners.
6. “Where is my G-spot?”
The famous G-spot is something we’ve all heard a lot about. We’ve also heard a thing or two about how earth-shattering a G-spot orgasm can be. But is the G-spot actually a real thing? If it is real, where is it and how should you go about trying to stimulate it? Does every woman have one? Well, allow us to assure you that the G-spot is very real and that if you’re a woman, you absolutely have one. It’s located on the anterior wall of your vagina and yes, it’s every bit as sensitive as the lore would suggest.
The best and easiest way to find yours is to use a vibrator or other sex toy that features a curved end, as it’s actually designed specifically for G-spot stimulation. Insert it so that the curved end is pointing toward the front wall of your vagina. Your G-spot is about halfway between your cervix and the entrance to your vagina. If you or your partner are feeling for it with fingers, you might notice a slight texture difference once you’ve found it.
7. “Is it really safe to have sex while pregnant?”
When you or your partner are expecting, it’s only natural to worry about giving that new little life the best possible start in life, especially if you’re a first-time parent. A big part of that involves abstaining from anything that might be harmful to your little one. Is sex one of those things? Of course people do have sex while pregnant, but should they?
Unless the pregnancy in question isn’t proceeding normally for whatever reason, it’s perfectly safe to have sex while you’re expecting. It certainly won’t cause a miscarriage or harm the developing baby in any way. In fact, many women experience hormonal surges during pregnancy that can actually send their sexual desire skyrocketing – something too good not to take advantage of.
8. “Can using sex toys actually desensitize me?”
Those that aren’t on board with the idea of sex toys for men or women tend to claim it’s because they desensitize the user and take away their ability to enjoy sex with a partner. In actuality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Sure, it’s possible to go a little numb or raw if you’re using your sex toys multiple times a day every day, but that’s the case with plain old-fashioned masturbation or sex as well.
In actuality, using sex toys either on your own or with your partner can potentially enhance your sex life. You learn more about your body and discover more types of stimulation that make you orgasm. Sex toy use can actually make you a better, more attentive lover as well, not to mention open up a whole new world of possibilities when it comes to your existing bedroom repertoire. Why not give it a try for yourself and see?
