Everyone wants to please their partner in the bedroom, and if you’re like most, it’s probably safe to say that you do your very best. But sometimes, figuring out whether you’re truly doing the job or not can be challenging, especially when you’re still building intimacy with someone new.
No two women are exactly alike, so there’s no guarantee the moves that drove your ex absolutely crazy will work for your new lover. Plus, some people are more open and communicative about their turn-ons than others. However, many women do have certain desires in common regarding how they wish their lovers would behave in the bedroom. Here are a few common examples.
1. Spend more time on foreplay.
While your lover almost certainly likes the main event just as much as you do, anticipation is a huge part of the fun for her. So don’t skimp on the foreplay. Not only is it something she likely needs to become fully aroused, but she loves the sensuality of it. She loves kissing you, touching you, and feeling her body get ready for you. And the more foreplay you make time for, the better the sex will be for both of you when you do get there.
2. Be yourself.
So many guys waste their energy putting on whatever performance they think will most impress their partner. They decide for her what a sexy, virile man looks like and acts like in bed. Then they do their best to convince their partners that that’s who they really are when what every woman really wants is to see her lover’s authentic self come out to play instead. So do both of you a favor and be yourself. Be vulnerable, raw, real, and present in the moment with her.
3. Throw a compliment or two her way.
Think about the last time your lover took the time to tell you how sexy you are or how seriously you turn her on. It probably made you feel ten feet tall, and you likely couldn’t wait for her to say something similar to you again. Well, you’re not the only one who likes compliments and reassurance in the bedroom. So the next time you’re struck by how beautiful, sexy, or all-around incredible she is, tell her and watch her light up.
4. Ask her to share her fantasies.
Men aren’t the only ones who have illicit fantasies that they’d secretly love to share (or even explore) with a lover. Women have them, too. However, many women aren’t sure how to start a conversation about them, even if they’re dying to share. Try taking the initiative yourself and asking her about them. Then she gets to share and participate in a dialogue without having to be the one to start the conversation. Plus, it’s just plain hot when your lover is dying to know what turns you on.
5. Learn your way around her body.
Although most women can and will give you a little direction as to how and where to touch them, there’s just something about a man who already knows his way around the female anatomy without having to be told. So if you don’t really know what’s where, it’s time to do your homework. Learn your way around her body, and do some research as to where, when, and how to touch her. A sexually educated man is a man women can’t wait to get down and dirty with, so go ahead and get your Google on.
6. Put oral sex on the regular menu.
Men aren’t the only ones who absolutely love oral sex and likely consider their intimate lives incomplete without it. The vast majority of women love it when men go down on them. It’s pleasurable, it’s intimate, and it’s one of the surest ways for a woman to reach orgasm. However, so many men don’t bother or have to be practically begged to do it. So make sure you give your lover oral and give it to her often, preferably without her having to ask.
7. Be open to switching things up.
Nobody likes finding themselves stuck in a sexual rut, but ruts are often par for the course once you’ve been together a while. And your lady doesn’t always want to be the one in charge of spicing things up when things get too routine. So try stepping up your bedroom game yourself. Suggest a new position or bring up the idea of using a toy together. Explore roleplay, swap fantasies, or try getting a little frisky in public. She’ll love how dedicated you are to keeping her happy and satisfied.
At the end of the day, women aren’t so different from men when it comes to sex, after all. They love it when their partners show enthusiasm, attraction, and passion in the bedroom, just like you do. So the sooner you start exploring the possibilities, the sooner you can both reap the benefits!
