It’s a common misconception that men are sexually simple and don’t crave anything in particular when it comes to their sex lives. In fact, men can be as complex as women when it comes to what they really need and desire in bed. However, many men aren’t as dialed in to what they really want, and even the ones who are likely won’t talk openly about it.
That said, it really pays to be the intuitive type if you’re someone with a male partner or who otherwise likes to have sex with men. The following are just a few of the most common things men wish their partners knew about what they really want in bed.
They Want to Be Praised
Although there are definitely selfish men out there who couldn’t care less about anyone else’s feelings, most men want their partners to approve of them, especially in bed. If the special man in your life just rocked your world, he wants to hear it. If you find him red hot sexy, he wants to hear that too. Men also struggle with insecurities and body image issues to the same degree women do, so make sure you’re paying him plenty of compliments outside the bedroom. Let him know he can always talk to you about any concerns or reservations he might have.
They Want to Know Your Fantasies
Yes, men have sexual fantasies that they’d love for their partners to be interested in, but they want to hear about what gets you all hot and bothered too. Try adding a regular fantasy exchange to your routine on the grounds that neither person is allowed to judge the other for anything they might say. Take turns sharing little tidbits and scenarios. Add the ones you both like the sounds of to a running list and make it a point to actively explore some of them together. What better way to surprise a partner on their birthday or to take an important anniversary to the next level?
They Want to Hear You Enjoy Yourself
People tend to moan, exclaim, and breathe heavily when they’re really lost in the moment sexually. The man in your life absolutely wants to hear this from you, so don’t hold back when it comes to being vocal in bed. Moaning, groaning, and talking dirty aren’t just great ways to keep both of you turned on either. They’re effective ways to let your partner know he’s doing everything right or to tell him you’d like him to do something specific.
They Want You to See Porn as No Big Deal
Like it or not, porn is probably something your partner is interested in if he happens to be a man. If you’ve made it clear that you find it offensive or hurtful, he likely also wishes you didn’t. People are very unique when it comes to what they find erotic. Even the most perfect partner can’t (and shouldn’t) be everything to a person, and porn provides a safe way to explore things they might not even be interested in doing outside of their fantasy life. Try bringing the porn topic out of the shadows and talking about it together. Sometimes that’s all it takes for a couple to come to an understanding that takes the negative feelings out of the situation for both parties.
They Enjoy All Kinds of Touch
Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all about the penis when it comes to places a man enjoys being touched. Just like women, men actually have multiple erogenous zones, and all of them feel good when stimulated. However, many men won’t ask outright to be touched anywhere specific, so those with male partners should consider taking the initiative and letting their fingers do the walking. Let your hands wander over his arms, his chest, his thighs, his neck, and his face. Gently tug on his balls or stimulate his perineum, especially during oral sex. Try bringing a small sex toy into play if he’s game (e.g. a vibrating bullet) as well.
They Want You to Be Authentic
Yes, the special man in your life wants you to have plenty of sex with him, but he also wants you to be honest with him if something isn’t working for you. Always keep the lines of communication wide open when it comes to sex. If there’s something keeping you from enjoying sex as much as you used to (e.g. resentment, work stress, or issues related to aging), be open about it so the two of you can talk it out. Men want their partners to be happy too, and they want to help if they can.
At the end of the day, men want many of the same things in bed that their partners do. Communication, openness, and exploration can be the keys to keeping both of you satisfied.
