Threesomes can be a fantastic way for couples to mix things up from time to time. However, any three-way is only as good as the planning that went into it. Choosing the wrong third party to invite into your bedroom is perhaps the easiest way to ensure your threesome doesn’t go so well, so it’s important to select with care.
The perfect unicorn (third), on the other hand, can turn your next three-way into something truly magical, so it’s well worth taking the time to find the right person. Here’s how you can go about making that connection, as well as facilitate an encounter you’ll all be thrilled with.
Sit down with your partner and decide what you want.
To make sure both you and your partner have the time of your lives, it’s essential to make sure you’re on the same page as far as what you want in a unicorn. Are you looking for a man, a woman, or someone gender-fluid? What types of people are you attracted to and interested in getting together with?
You also need to thoroughly discuss how deep you want your relationship with this other person to run. Is this a one-night thing, after which you don’t ever plan on seeing the person again? Are you interested in the possibility of repeat encounters or even a polyamorous relationship? The more you know about what you’re interested in, the better your chances of finding a unicorn who’s a perfect fit.
Be crystal clear about what (and who) you’re looking for.
When you’re searching for other parties to get down and dirty with, you don’t want to be precious or coy about the process. If you’re placing an ad or putting up a profile on a dating app, spell out precisely what you’re looking for and why. Successful searches start with honest, frank information that leaves no room for misunderstanding.
Yes, you should describe what type of person you and your partner are looking for in detail. Make sure you give plenty of information about you, as well, though. State what you want sexually and what you are (or aren’t) looking for in an ongoing relationship. And make sure it’s clear your profile belongs to a couple, as opposed to an adventurous single.
Spend a lot of time chatting with your unicorn.
Finding the perfect unicorn to complete your threesome is a lot like hiring the right candidate to fill a specific position at your company, so it may help take your cues from there. Start by screening promising candidates via instant message.
Spend lots of time chatting with the person to get a feel for whether you’re compatible. This is your chance to ask questions, as well as invite the unicorn to do the same. Be as detailed as possible, and make sure the other person agrees or disagrees with everything you throw out there.
Arrange a trial meeting with your would-be unicorn.
As with any other type of social connection you initiate at a distance, you want to make sure your chemistry successfully carries over into real life. The last thing you want is to find out you don’t get along as well as you’d hoped the night of the threesome, so arranging a trial meet-up between the three of you is a smart idea.
The circumstances of your meet-up are up to you, but most people like to keep things casual and low-pressure. Make plans to get together and hang out somewhere all three of you enjoy spending time. You can also simply have dinner together or drinks. This keeps things low-key and fun with no implied pressure that anything else should be happening.
Plan your encounter to be pleasing to all three of you.
If all three of you agree that you’re into your chemistry as a group and would like to move forward, it’s time to start planning your actual encounter. Some spontaneity is great, but it never hurts to have a tentative game plan as far as how you’d all like things to play out and what you’d like to try. Are you into the idea of playing with sex toys? How about experimenting with S&M? How involved will each of you be in each of the scenarios you’ve discussed?
When it’s time for your encounter, remember this is meant to be pleasurable for all of you. Make sure your third feels completely included in everything that’s happening, but don’t focus on them to the exclusion of your partner (a common faux pas). The goal is for everyone to leave that bedroom completely satisfied with whatever went down. Don’t forget to communicate before, during, and after your encounter to make sure this is the case. You’ll be glad you did.
